How to Help a Child with OCD at Home: A Therapist's Guide
Hi there, I'm Brooke, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) based in West Los Angeles, CA. My practice, Light Minds Therapy, is all about creating a safe space for children, teens, young adults, and families to navigate life's challenges.
As a therapist, I see firsthand how much it hurts to watch your child struggle. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be particularly tough, leaving kids feeling anxious, frustrated, and stuck in repetitive thoughts and behaviors.
In this post, we'll explore what OCD looks like in children, what you can do to help them feel better, and why professional therapy is often a key piece of the puzzle. It's not about making OCD symptoms go away entirely, but rather helping your little one ride the wave when uncomfortable feelings threaten to take over.
Let's dive in.
Understanding OCD in Children
The first step in helping your child is learning about what they're experiencing.
OCD stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It's a mental health condition characterized by two main things:
Obsessions: These are unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that feel intrusive and cause anxiety or distress. For a child with OCD, these obsessions might be worries about germs, needing things to be perfectly symmetrical, or having bad things happen if they don't follow a specific routine.
Compulsions: These are repetitive behaviors or mental acts a child feels driven to perform in response to their obsessions. They might feel compelled to wash their hands repeatedly, count objects in a certain order, or rearrange things until they feel "just right."
It's important to understand that these compulsions aren't done because they enjoy it or are trying to be "difficult." They're a way for your child to try and manage the anxiety caused by their obsessions.
Here are some common themes of OCD in children:
Fear of contamination and germs: This might lead to excessive hand washing, showering, or cleaning routines.
Need for order and symmetry: Children might become distressed if things aren't arranged in a specific way.
Intrusive thoughts about harm: They might worry about someone getting hurt, including themselves or loved ones.
Superstitions and magical thinking: Some children develop rituals they believe will prevent bad things from happening.
It's important to note that these are just examples, and OCD can manifest differently in each child. The key point is that these obsessions and compulsions become so time-consuming or disruptive that they start to interfere with a child's well-being.
P.S. Need help explaining your child's OCD symptoms to them? Check out my blog post on 9 Tips to Help You Explain OCD to Your Child.
5 tips on how to parent a child with OCD
Watching your child struggle with OCD can feel overwhelming, but there are ways you can be a strong source of support at home. Here are some key strategies to create a safe and encouraging environment:
1. Validation and empathy
Children with OCD often feel alone and misunderstood. The most important thing you can do is believe them and validate their experience. Phrases like "I know this must be hard" or "It sounds like you're feeling really anxious right now" go a long way. Avoid minimizing their thoughts or compulsions as "silly" or "unimportant."
Practical example:
Let's say your child is worried about germs after using the bathroom at school. Instead of saying, "There's no need to worry, the school cleans regularly," you could try: "I understand you're feeling anxious about germs. It's good to be mindful of hygiene, but sometimes worries can feel overwhelming. How about we wash our hands together when we get home?"
2. Creating a safe space
Let your child know they can talk to you and other family members about anything, even if it feels strange or embarrassing. Open communication is crucial. Encourage them to express their worries and fears without judgment. This will help your child feel supported and less alone in their struggles.
Practical example:
Set aside some dedicated time each day to talk openly with your child. This could be during car rides, bedtime routines, or even while doing chores together. Let them know that you're always there to listen, and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings freely.
3. Limiting reassurance
It's natural to want to reassure your child that their fears won't come true. However, constant reassurance can become a compulsion itself. Instead of shifting your family routines to accommodate your child's worries, try gentle guidance. For example, if they're worried about germs after touching a doorknob, you can suggest washing their hands once for a specific amount of time, rather than engaging in a lengthy reassurance conversation.
Practical example:
If your child insists on checking the door lock repeatedly after you've confirmed it's locked, you could say: "I hear you're feeling worried. We checked the lock together and it's secure. How about we take a deep breath and do something fun together to take your mind off it?"
4. Building coping skills
Empower your child with tools to manage their anxiety without resorting to compulsions. Relaxation techniques like deep breathing exercises or mindfulness can be very helpful. Encourage healthy distractions like hobbies, sports, or spending time with friends. The goal is to equip them with alternative ways to manage their emotions.
Practical example:
There are many free online resources for relaxation techniques geared toward children. Practice deep breathing exercises together or try a short guided meditation before bedtime. Help your child identify activities they enjoy that can distract them from their worries, like drawing, playing with friends, or listening to music.
5. Working together
Remember, you're not alone in this journey. Schedule a meeting with your child's pediatrician to discuss your concerns. They can assess your child and offer treatment recommendations that are tailored to your child's OCD. Progress with OCD takes time and effort, but with the right support, your child can learn to manage their symptoms and live a full and happy life.
Practical example:
I also recommend connecting with a mental health professional who specializes in OCD and anxiety disorders. This can give your child the much-needed support and tools they need to navigate their day-to-day life with greater ease. Plus, you can get helpful pointers to integrate what your child learns in therapy into family life.
FAQs about parenting a child with OCD
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OCD can manifest differently in each child, but here are some common signs to watch for:
Excessive repetitive behaviors (compulsions): This could include hand washing excessively, counting things repeatedly, arranging things in a specific order, or needing to say certain words or phrases.
Intrusive thoughts or images (obsessions): These might be unwanted thoughts about germs, harming themselves or others, needing things to be perfectly symmetrical, or fearing bad things happening.
Significant distress or disruption: If these obsessions and compulsions take up a significant amount of time (over an hour a day) or interfere with daily activities like schoolwork, friendships, or family life, it could be a sign of OCD.
Anxiety: Children with OCD often experience significant anxiety related to their obsessions and compulsions.
Keep in mind that OCD can only be diagnosed by a professional. OCD can also overlap with other mental health conditions. It's important to consult with a therapist to understand whether your child is dealing with OCD, an anxiety disorder, or another challenge.
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Unfortunately, there's no simple yes or no answer to whether childhood OCD goes away entirely. However, with proper intervention, children with OCD can learn to manage their symptoms effectively and live happy, fulfilling lives.
Here's what research tells us:
Early intervention is key: Studies show that children who receive treatment early tend to have better long-term outcomes.
Therapy can make a difference: There are effective treatment approaches available for OCD. While we won't discuss specific therapies here, seeking professional help is crucial.
Some children "outgrow" symptoms: Experts believe that some children with OCD may experience a significant reduction in symptoms over time, with or without treatment.
Instead of focusing on whether your child's symptoms will go away entirely, it can be helpful to think about what you can do to help your child manage them. In fact, pushing away uncomfortable feelings often makes them stronger, so giving your little one tools to confront these emotions head-on can increase their resilience in the long run.
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OCD is often treated through mental health counseling. In some cases, your child's primary care physician or psychiatrist may recommend medication, including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).
As a therapist specializing in OCD, I use two main treatment methods to help children find relief:
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP):
This is considered the gold-standard treatment for OCD.
ERP works by gradually exposing children to their triggers (things or situations that cause anxiety) while helping them resist the urge to perform compulsions (repetitive behaviors or mental acts they feel driven to do).
Through this process, children learn that their feared outcomes won't happen, and their anxiety around those triggers gradually decreases.
SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxiety Cooperative Education):
This is a family-based therapy that focuses on helping family members learn about OCD and how to support their child.
SPACE teaches parents skills to reduce their child's anxiety without reinforcing compulsions.
It also encourages open communication and creates a safe space for children to express their worries.
It's important to note that each child and family is different. I customize each child's treatment plan to their unique needs so they can get the most out of our time together.
Give your little one the specialized OCD support they need to thrive.
OCD can be a challenging experience for children and their families. However, with early intervention, professional support, and the right tools at home, children with OCD can learn to manage their symptoms and live fulfilling lives.
I'm here to support you and your child on this journey. If you're looking for a therapist specializing in OCD treatment for children in Los Angeles, I invite you to reach out for a consultation.
Together, we can help your child navigate the waves of OCD and find a brighter future.
