9 Tips to Help You Explain OCD to Your Child

If you're struggling to help your child make sense of their OCD symptoms, you're not alone.

Hi, I'm Brooke Rawls. I'm the owner and founder of Light Minds Therapy, a private therapy practice dedicated to helping children, teens, young adults, and parents. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is one of my specialties, and I've supported dozens of families in navigating this diagnosis.

I know firsthand that it's not easy, which is why I've created this guide on how to explain OCD to a child. Here, I've compiled my top tips (including ones that I give to my clients) on helping your child better understand themselves and learn how to cope.

Let's dive in.

1. Make sure you're educated first.

Since there are so many misconceptions about what OCD actually is, it's important to make sure you have a robust understanding of the disorder yourself.

Generally speaking, OCD is characterized by obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are repetitive, unwanted thoughts, and compulsions are behaviors that individuals engage in to find temporary relief from the anxiety associated with obsessions.

Several online resources provide further education about OCD. I recommend checking out the International OCD Foundation's page on childhood OCD as a starting point.

Of course, you don't need to be an expert, so try to avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. You and your child will navigate this journey together, and the most important thing is being a safe, supportive presence for your child. Just do the best you can.

2. Use age-appropriate language.

The way you discuss your child's OCD symptoms will vary depending on their age and stage of development. Older children or teens may be able to explain their experiences more in-depth and have a more in-depth understanding of their disorder.

Younger children may need more simplified language to understand what's going on. You know your child best, so while this can be a difficult topic to discuss, you are the best resource to help your child understand.

If you need some ideas or guidance (especially for talking to younger kids), check out IOCDF's OCD cartoons for inspiration.

3. Validate their emotions.

Understanding the disorder can be difficult, especially if you don't experience OCD yourself. Even if you or your child don't fully understand OCD and what it means for your family, it's most important that your child feels like you understand them.

Open up a discussion around the topic and focus on listening. While it sounds simple enough, this can be much easier said than done! Many parents may feel guilty or overwhelmed by their child's symptoms or emotions, and it's often instinctual to try and "fix" your child's "problems."

However, simply listening and validating their emotions can go a long way. This shows your child that you're a safe, supportive person for them to come to, even when it's difficult.

4. Normalize their experience.

While the social discourse is changing, mental health issues like OCD are still stigmatized at times. This can make it seem like your child is the only one with these symptoms when in reality, many people struggle with OCD and other mental health disorders.

Depending on your child's age and developmental level, it may be helpful to share statistics on the prevalence of OCD. They may also find comfort in hearing about famous figures who have had OCD. You may also be able to find videos online about other people talking about their experiences.

Though your child is their own unique individual, it can be incredibly validating to know that they're not the only one who's gone through this before.

5. Remind them it's not their fault.

While it may seem obvious to you as an adult, children may not have the context to understand that OCD isn't their fault. Make sure to tell your child (in terms that they understand) that OCD is a brain disorder, not something "bad" that they did.

If your child or teen is older, you could even reference the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) as a reference, if they find that helpful. This is the manual that therapists use to diagnose mental health disorders. By understanding that OCD is a diagnosable condition, it may help them understand that it's not something they brought upon themselves.

This goes for you, too, as a parent. OCD isn't the result of "bad" parenting. There are things you can do to support your child, but their mental health condition isn't your fault.

6. Use multimedia resources.

Each child's learning style is different, so I encourage you to use different resources to help them understand. While some kids learn best from open discussion, others may prefer to read books, watch a video, or create art projects.

Check out this list of OCD books for kids curated by the staff at Okanagan Regional Library in British Columbia, this Instagram account of OCD illustrations, or this short OCD cartoon video to give your child alternative ways to understand.

7. Encourage ongoing communication.

Explaining OCD to your child will likely go beyond a single conversation. Though treatment works, it doesn't make OCD disappear overnight. This will likely be a lifelong condition that your child will learn to manage and cope with.

While you don't need to constantly talk about your child's symptoms (after all, they're so much more than their OCD), make sure to keep the conversation going. This shows them that it's not a taboo topic and that you're a safe person for them to talk about it with.

8. Model healthy coping skills.

Even if you don't have OCD yourself, you can help your child by modeling healthy coping strategies. Skills like mindfulness techniques and breathing exercises can help anyone, not just those with OCD.

Plus, incorporating these strategies into everyday family life further normalizes your child's experience and shows them that having OCD is nothing to be ashamed of. Many children learn by example, so I highly recommend helping them practice these skills by doing them yourself.

9. Consider working with a professional.

Your family shouldn't have to navigate an OCD diagnosis on your own. I encourage you to partner with care professionals to give your child (and your entire family) a robust support network.

In some cases, medication (such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs) may also be an effective treatment option in addition to therapy. I recommend consulting with your child's pediatrician or psychiatrist to discuss whether this is the right fit.

With that said, talk therapy is typically a first-line treatment for OCD. As a child OCD therapist myself, I use methods like exposure response prevention (ERP) therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to help kids with OCD confront intrusive thoughts and manage the associated anxiety instead of engaging in compulsive behaviors.

I provide in-home services to families in the greater Los Angeles area, as well as virtual therapy for families located across California. With over a decade of experience supporting children and families, I'd be honored to support you and your loved ones as well.